Relational Ethics Principles...Dr. Viktor Frankle

I Thou...Principle

I Thou, articulated by the philosopher/theologian Martin Buber (1958) is about a universal principle of interaction. This principle of interaction is fundamental in creating intelligence, experience and human realities. "The basic idea behind Buber's work is that without another person reflecting to me interpretations about ideas, actions, and physical being, there is no effective way for me to understand what I think, what I do, and how I look." (The New Contextual Theory by Hargrave & Pfitzer 6)

Essentially our essence, existence and development is intertwined. This idea has profound significance when conceptualizing human behavior, experience and purpose. In therapy, this idea plays out in hopes to reenact and utilize the dynamic while accompanying it with unique skills, techniques and knowledge to perpetuate desired change.  Research shows that it is primarily the therapeutic alliance or relationship that determines positive outcome and client satisfaction compared to a minimal percentage of that being a particular model or theory being used.

In the end, The I thou process is a knowledge base for humanity. This idea echoes throughout history and in many cultures:

Using the Standford encyclopedia of philosophy: "Confucius (551-479 BCE), according to Chinese tradition, was a thinker, political figure, educator, and founder of the RuSchool of Chinese thought. His teachings, preserved in the Lunyu or Analects, form the foundation of much of subsequent Chinese speculation on the education and comportment of the ideal man, how such an individual should live his life and interact with others, and the forms of society and government in which he should participate." (First published Wed Jul 3, 2002; substantive revision Tue Sep 5, 2006)

This can't occur without being informed by the I thou nature of our existence. It is inherent.  I believe the key is to bring it into the conscious awareness. A study and discipline such as philosophy is futile unless done under the back drop of I thou.

It is no wonder that human interactions have been the focus of philosophy, religion, governments and individuals throughout centuries. Why are we drawn to seek understanding concerning our relational behaviors? To what end will the understanding serve us? Is it as Aristotle proposed...happiness? Is it simply being stuck between the dialectic of opposites...pain/pleasure that creates such a need? Is there meaning in all of this or is it simply a random chaotic occurrence...to no end? I believe it is to find meaning and further light and knowledge.

I believe there is an end to seeking understanding while at the same time holding the ambiguity of human interaction.  As a therapist, most of what I do is simply interact with people and their reality.  Of course I assess and do a whole host of other things, but that is still part of the nature of my interaction with people.  Therapy could be defined as a scientific and artful process of interacting with people and their realities through artful listening, questioning, empathy etcetera...

I would like to mention before continuing that the "thou" is many things.  It may be a parent, sibling, family unit, school, community, or government.  At times, you yourself may be the thou. It is reciprocal and circular in nature.  I do believe that God is the constant "thou" in all our lives and must be interacted with as to truly discover oneself. I also believe that much of this process occurs from within oneself. Truth, with a capital "T'' as Socrates suggests is already in us and only echoed back for us to recognize.  Plato thought it was more out there to be discovered. I have suggested both. 

 Also, the simple process of experiencing our relational nature in the context that we reside provides truth. The measure of truth we obtain is subjective and difficult to quantify if at all.  Man has continually qualitatively measured it and even fought wars over it. Pain can't be avoided. Neither can one not participate. Suicide still contributes to the I and thou process of others.  The ones left behind still revolve in relation to those who have passed before them.  Death is not powerful enough to disrupt this universal nature of interaction.  As I write and you read, we have engaged with the thou's of ancient times and each other.  Physical space and time may alter ones experience our level of engagement, yet the process occurs at some level, to some degree.

Where to begin? Pain is a universal experience we share in common with one another. Buddha, saw the world through a lens of pain and from there developed a way of being, thinking and feeling. A medium for developing in relation to one another and the universe was founded.  Pain; whether emotional, spiritual, or physical comes most often from our experience relating with others. We may hurt ourselves, yet it can be traced back to messages received from others that have been internalized.  It can be traced back to feeling emotions of guilt and shame due to behavior in relation to others. The feelings of guilt and shame may stem from a thou in our life.  Internally, our moral compass, Jimmeny cricket and so forth may be the source of inner-turmoil/conflict causing us to choose between being harsh or kind with ourselves. This may be connected to the thou of culture and society or an actual entity like the Holy spirit in Christianity (third member of the God head.)  These thou's may be  the source of light, love and happiness as well. It maybe what we do with it that matters. The war rages for all of us, internally.  This I Thou process is not without strife.

Psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankle, Man's Search for Meaning, argues that we all suffer and we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it and move forward.  He shares his story based on his own experience in Nazi concentration camps and that of his patients. He also articulates Logo-therapy, being the measure of humanity to not be pleasure seekers but the pursuit of that which we find to be meaningful.  This of course occurs unconsciously and consciously as other human drives.  A human drive so different from that articulated by Freud.  At first glance it appears to be naively optimistic. To find significance in the very act of living is a primary human drive.  As one who has studied and observed for myself, humanity, through various mediums I have come to concur with Viktor Frankle.  To a large extent this drive exists and proceeds to be a primary drive for people.

Man, using language, has socially constructed for itself purpose and meaning over and over again. Is it a fallacy to conclude that that behavior is indicative of a drive for finding meaning for oneself?  Why have I read and wrote what I have written? Why do you do what you do?  Why do some find this meaningless?  Why does this relational process thread itself through the tapestry of human history? It could be seen as one seeking to simply avoid pain and find pleasure.  It could be that one desires an abstract feeling of happiness. It could be that deep down inside of us, we are progressing towards something...a way of intelligence and life. It could not matter at all.  Only finding shelter, food and sex is what matters, right? Survival is our primary drive. What if finding meaning and intelligence in the "I thou" experience is what will allow for survival? A survival of what eternity holds?

For some the idea of eternity is irrelevant.  This greatly shapes how one would perceive mans' purpose and meaning.  If eternity doesn't exist and death is the end; then shelter, food, sex, pleasure, some intimacy and relational interaction for emotional survival is sufficient. Avoidance of pain may be the only purpose and meaning in one's life that guides behavior.  Social interactions which are inevitable will shape ones behavior but finding meaning and purpose wouldn't.  It would have no end.  A universal truth about man's behavior is that it doesn't occur with no end in mind.  

From our basic genetic and biological natures, an end exists. I often feel that the truth of that blinds us to the truth of what ends exist for man and there respective drives. It may be difficult to perceive man as spiritual intelligent matter passing through mortality as a means to further progress itself (Judeo-christianideology) conceptualized in so many ways.  The one thing that remains is our obsession with it. This grand delusion as some have called it may stem from the anxiety of death. (see Anxiety of Death)

I believe that may play a role; however, Viktor Frankle in the depths of a Nazi concentration camp echoes truth that a larger force is at play.  Man desires to find meaning and purpose even as a means for survival of the cruelest circumstance.  The anxiety of death was no stranger and a will for meaning existed with greater force to perpetuate behavior/survival:

"A colleague of mine, who had arrived in Auschwitz several weeks previously, smuggled himself into our hut.  He wanted to comfort us and tell us a few things....Don't be afraid! Don't fear the selections. Dr M. (the SS medical chief) has a soft spot for doctors...a prison said that a man of some sixty years entreated Dr. M--to let off his son, who was destined for gas (Dr. M coldly refused)...."But one thing I beg of you," he continued shave daily, if at all possible, even if you have a piece of glass to do it with...even if you have to give your last piece of bread for it. You will look younger....If you want to stay alive, there is only one way: look fit for work."(Man's Search...19)

Dr.Frankle did stayalive and fit for work in the camps.  He also became sick and spent time in the huts for the ill that were cared for by themselves.  He spoke of music, art and humor existing amongst them at rudimentary levels as to survive. Where the existence of art, music and humor are no matter how rudimentary you can be sure that those who are creating it find purpose and meaning.  He doesn't sugarcoat the reality of Auschwitz, yet he does give light to the humanity that existed in spite of such devastating circumstance and cruelty.  They kept up moral for each other and found meaning in simply touching the pocket that lined their last morsels of bread for the day. (Man's Search 42-48)  They found meaning in huddling up and creating warmth for one another:

"We were grateful for the smallest mercies. We were glad when their was time to delouse before going to bed, although in itself this was no pleasure, as it meant standing naked in an unheated hut where icicles hung from the ceiling. But we where thankful that there was no air raid alarm during this operation and that lights were not switched off....the meager pleasures of camp provided a kind of negative happiness...." (Man's Search...47)

What I observe here is the anxiety of death and a drive to find meaning and purpose in life co-existing and perpetuating life. Human drives all work in accordance for the perpetuation of life.  It is a fallacy to place sole emphasis on just one.  They occur simultaneously and are not mutually exclusive. In other words you can't comepletely isolate or tease one out over another completely.

"Man's search for meaning is the primary motive in his life and not a "secondary rationalization" of instinctual drives. The meaning is unique and specific in that it must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only than does it achieve significance which will satisfy his own will to meaning.

There are some authors who contend that meanings and values are "nothing but defense mechanisms, reaction formations and sublimations..."

But for myself I would not be willing to live for the sake of my "defense mechanisms" nor would I be willing to die for the sake of my "reaction formation."  Man, however, is able to live and even to die for the sake of his ideals and values." (Man's Search...99)

It is a powerful testimony of one who survived the concentration camps of Nazi Germany and found the will for meaning as the force that drove his behavior.  Most of his script was written while in the camps.  His will for meaning drove him to live through unspeakable atrocity. He admirably, under horrific circumstance, assisted in the survival and embracing of death of his fellowmen.  He stands in relation to us and exhibits the very essence of finding meaning even in the darkest places of mortal existence. antisemitism stands as anegative thou which we interact and our I's with. An ideology, as horrific as it is, has shown us our dichotomy as a civilization.

It is all part of a great opposition in all things that provides us with a unique predicament in which to find meaning, knowledge and develope our intelligences.