A Humorous take on the "Decay of Man"

I am worried about my receding hair lines.  My widows peak seems to be a more dramatic mcdonald's sign everyday. The crown of my head is still covered but a thinness prevails.  My stress has been significantly reduced sense I am not building residential housing anymore.  Not really though because my master's program has more than likely replaced that, plus the reality that I no longer make money.  The school debt is daunting. I am twenty-six with thick black hair and evidence that man eventually begins to decay. Hence my new fetish with newsie/golf hats. Rogain has failed me or my lack of consistency. My wife gives me head messages with some essential oils, but I am doomed to accept my plight.  Woe is me.  Ladies go easy on your man.  My wife has a photo collection, tracking my baldness, for the past four years and it weakens my over inflated ego everytime. I am grateful my wife loves me and is stuck with my decaying scalp. On a bright note we will decay happily together falling in love over and over agian.

Sept. 3, 2012 Addendum:

I seemed to have plateaued and am grateful.  At times, my hands are covered in hair after shampooing but to no avial.  We are at a stalemate.